Should You Hire a Divorce Coach?

By Amy Polacko

Looking back, I can think of plenty of times I was in a fit of anger and dashed off an email to my divorce attorney about something my soon to be ex did–only to face the painful consequences in my monthly bill. 

Ouch.

Yes, attorneys charge for every time you call them or they read an email and respond. This was one of the many mistakes I made during my divorces–because I didn’t know any better. I didn’t have a coach.

After two trips down the family court aisle, I decided to become the divorce coach I never had. Divorce is complex and the decisions you make affect the rest of your and your children’s lives. That’s why it’s worth investing in crucial guidance and doing it right.  Like the old me, you might be wondering, “Do I really need a divorce coach?” and “Should I spend money on one when I’m already paying an attorney?”

Yes. Ideally, I think you should hire a coach before you hire an attorney so they can guide you toward the best fit and help you interview them effectively. But even if you have a lawyer already, a coach will prove to be a crucial part of your team. 

In this blog, I’ll outline the benefits of having one in your corner and how it can pay off big time. Here are my Top 5 reasons to get a divorce coach:

1. Emotional Support – This is the #1 reason many attorneys want you to hire a divorce coach! There are three parts of divorce: legal, financial and emotional. And if you’re riding a roller coaster of feelings that are taking over your life, there is no way you can make smart legal and financial decisions. Plus, you’ll make your attorney’s job a lot harder.
2. Saving You Money – All those times you contact your attorney in a huff? Just like me, you will be charged–at their hourly rate! Divorce coaches charge a fraction of what lawyers do so the two of you can handle a lot of issues without reaching out to your attorney. In addition, good coaches help you prepare key documents and information in advance–to save you money by using even less of your attorney’s valuable time. 
3. Legal Process Guidance – I didn’t know a thing about divorce when I first embarked on one. Attorneys don’t have time to teach you all about the process, and often expect you to know how things work, since they usually want to get down to business in your case. A coach can provide background into your legal choices (mediation, collaborative divorce or litigation) as well as explain the steps for each. Knowledge is power and prevents mistakes.
4. Creating a Strategy – This is something I talked about on the exExperts’ podcast because it is crucial. I work with clients to help you become the CEO of your divorce–feeling more in control with a game plan, and back up plans that address how things might play out in negotiations. Part of this is how to communicate with your spouse, your children, your attorney and court professionals. Your coach’s expertise can prevent many missteps along the way. 
5. Rediscovering Yourself – Many people give up a lot of themselves in their marriage and get divorced because they are unfulfilled. Coaches help you explore the silver lining of the major life change–aiding you in discovering your strengths, passions and possible career paths. They can also guide you through the loose ends you need to tie up at the conclusion of a divorce, to ensure you have an amazing future. 

How do you find the right one? Go to trusted sources like the exExperts, podcasts by divorce professionals and other spots online. You can also ask around in your area for recommendations though many coaches, like me, are able to serve clients across the country virtually. To find the right one:

• Schedule a consultation with them which gives you a chance to ask them questions and see if you feel a connection with this person. Could you see them as a trusted advisor? Do they understand your case’s unique challenges?
• What is their background? Have they lived through what you are going through? 
• Are they professional and affiliated with respected organizations in this field?
• How often do they meet with you and what are their rates?
• Read their testimonials and check out their LinkedIn and social media profiles.

Make no mistake, this research is well worth it because hiring a divorce coach can be a game-changer in your divorce journey. I save my clients thousands in legal bills, so the amount they invest in coaching pays for itself! Divorce coaches can help you navigate the complexities of divorce with resilience and confidence. When you have a team of support in this process, your stress level goes way down and you are able to focus on protecting yourself and building a bright future. Remember divorce is not the end–it can be the beginning of an exciting new adventure! 

Access to Freedom Warriors’ DIVORCE DECODED course with Amy Polacko, click here.

To book a free 15-minute Coaching Consultation with Amy, go to: https://www.freedomwarrior.info/contact