FULL TRANSCRIPT

Don’t you ever dream of a vacation on a beach where it’s quiet and you can drink a Margarita and lounge all day long?

Us too, but that picture often includes a travel partner.

So what if you don’t have someone who you want to go travel with and you’re a little nervous about going on a solo adventure?

0:18

Well, today’s guest is not waiting for the perfect travel partner to appear.

She’s created the single parents lounge and a solo travel itinerary that you’re definitely going to want to be a part of.

So you’re welcome in this episode of the Divorce Etc… podcast, we’re going to give you the opportunity to take that trip, meet new people and keep moving forward in your life.

0:38

We’re the exEXPERTS, Jessica and T.H.

We help you navigate your divorce and successfully move on with your life.

So let’s get started.

Hey everybody, it’s TH here.

I love what Nicole Cunningham has created.

0:54

First of all, Co pilots for Co parents.

Brilliant.

She’s gonna explain it to you and the single parents travel lounge.

I mean, she has created a vehicle, I guess a, a program that she wanted for herself so she could go on solo trips and meet other people and all of the things.

1:15

So Nicole, we’re so happy to have you here.

I want to start off with why did you even build this?

What was the impetus behind creating this?

Because all of us are probably like, oh, yeah, I’d love to go on a close solo trip, but I could never do that.

1:33

Like that’s so somebody else like Gabrielle Stone, right.

That’s so Gabrielle Stone.

I, I am not as confident as she is.

I could never do it.

But you have created a way that we could all go on a solo trip.

So give us a little background and welcome to divorce etcetera.

1:52

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

I’m very excited to be here and excited to share these trips with other single parents.

And what you said is exactly right.

You know, I would go gallivanting around the world on these crazy adventures.

2:10

Some of them were crazy even for me.

And I would come home and, and tell, you know, stories about them and people would say, wow, I, I would love to do that.

I could never do that.

And the truth is you can, anyone can really do this.

2:26

And so I, you know, I really wanted to create a space to make it easier for single parents to travel, to get all of the life changing benefits that it gave to me and that it really has the power to create.

2:43

So you are.

Well, hold on.

Let’s tell everybody your story.

So are you divorced?

Are you married?

Like, give everybody an update of how you’re helping divorced parents or single parents, right?

Yeah, and I am divorced, so the seed was sort of planted for me, I would say six or seven years ago.

3:05

You know, this was after my divorce had finally been finalized.

You know, I had been in a marriage that I felt trapped in, that was unhappy for a couple of years before I got the courage, you know, to finally leave.

I had felt trapped in the divorce process that really was unrelenting at times and had gone probably 3 or 4 years by the time it was done.

3:32

And I was really in sort of this moment where I didn’t know who I was anymore.

And you know, I, I thought, you know, I should be free of this now and I didn’t feel that way.

And I made a promise to myself one night where I, I said, you know what?

3:53

I don’t care about all any of it.

I’m going to go to eight, at least eight countries that I’ve never been to before next year cause travel had always been something that that meant something to me.

But you were working, you have kids like paint that paint your paint your story for everybody, ’cause they’re like, oh great, this girl’s, you know, going on this great adventures to tell everybody about the responsibilities that you had at home.

4:16

I did.

I had, I have two boys and they’re teenagers now, but at the time I, I think they were 7 and 9, something like that.

At the time.

They, they’ve been a little younger when the divorce process started, but by the time it was over and I was Co parenting in a very toxic Co parenting relationship, Frankly, the time it’s improved, you know, slowly but surely, but it was pretty difficult.

4:48

And it’s not easy.

Traveling for anyone is, is a scary thing.

And as a single parent, it’s even more so.

You know, I, I dealt with a Co parent that didn’t want me to take the kids on a trip and wouldn’t get a passport.

5:06

And you know, all the back and forth with that and you know, a lot of other challenges and stumbling blocks about how do I do this with me and just my two kids and.

Your trips cater to you with your kids as a single parent and then you also do solo trips you.

5:26

You’ve created both options.

Yes, exactly.

And and the trips I’ve done were sort of the same way.

You know, I would do some trips with my kids and some just as a solar traveler traveler.

I think they’re both really important and they both were growth, you know, enhancing in different ways.

5:48

I feel like there are a lot of people who are going to be watching and, and given the particularly the responsibilities that you had at home, but also like a budget wise, I mean going to 8 countries in one year, I feel like you got to have a lot of vacation time at work to even be able to take that kind of time and vacation.

6:04

So how how does that?

Happen creatively.

Very creatively.

And yeah, I was working full time.

I did have the benefit that my job required some travel.

6:21

So, you know, I was able to kind of tack on a weekend, you know, in a different country at the end of a work trip was sort of one of the the biggest ways I was able to fit all of this in.

But but otherwise creatively, I did a trip where I think we went to four countries in two weeks.

6:43

That was a trip with my kids and so just planned quite carefully.

Where did you go?

Where?

Where were the places?

We went to Japan, the Philippines, Singapore and Thailand.

7:01

That’s a.

Huge, very expensive trip.

So for people who are listening, who are like, I’m dying to do that, are there, do you have any tips on people budgeting for something like that?

I mean, for many people that would be like one big trip for the year.

7:19

Right.

Or a lifetime.

Exactly.

I mean, that could take years to save for.

And side note, I’m not sure I want to be on my plane on a plane with my kids.

Can you get a shorter flight somewhere like Canada or Mexico?

7:36

All right, so go on.

Tell us so believe it or not, I’m yes, it can be expensive travel’s never going to be completely, you know, bargain basement affordable, but there are ways you can save a lot.

So I used miles for most of our flights.

7:54

So that’s on a trip like that, that’s really the most expensive part.

So I had used points and miles and some of those countries, Japan can be fairly expensive.

We were only there for a couple of days.

But the other countries we went to actually are pretty affordable.

8:12

I mean, in, in Thailand, for example, or the Philippines, you can get a five star hotel for $100 a night, believe it or not.

So it’s not as expensive as you would think if you plan carefully.

And part of how I choose where I go sometimes too, is looking at where, you know, where can I find a flight deal, where can I stretch my money further?

8:35

Because like you said, budget is always an issue, especially for single parents.

So what are some of the things, what are some of the documents that you need to get your Co parent to sign off on in order to take your kids on an adventure outside of this country?

8:53

Like what’s the checklist of of stuff?

So it depends on of course your divorce, either your settlement agreement or your judgement depending on how your divorce was was done.

But usually there will be provisions in there relating to this.

9:11

If there’s any kind of joint or shared custody, then typically you would need permission from both parents to get a passport, for example.

And whether you need permission or not to travel out of the country, really that depends on the terms of your settlement agreement.

9:29

Some some require consent and some don’t, although it’s still really a best practice obviously to do that because it’s a pretty big deal to go on a trip like that.

And also notification, I mean, I didn’t need permission if it was my vacation time and then it was my vacation time.

9:46

But I, if I went on a trip like that, I would have to send him the flights where we’re staying.

Our itinerary.

I mean, now our phones work everywhere, but at the time, you know, like a phone number.

I think side note, everybody like you want to make sure your will is set.

10:07

You wanna make sure your health proxy set that for your kids, like get your affairs and your money in order.

And look, anything can happen tomorrow if you walk across the street and there could be situation, but if you’re going across the country with your kids.

Or across the world, yeah.

10:23

Yeah, exactly.

So tell us a little bit.

And the other thing is I would.

Oh, go ahead.

No, go ahead.

I was gonna say make sure you always have a copy of the birth certificate as well as ideally assigned letter of consent from the the other parent because you can run into issues with immigration in other countries.

10:47

I’ve been on a lot of trips.

It’s only happened to me once where someone asked.

But I, you know, like a lot of people, my kids don’t have the same last name as me.

And so I was asked at one immigration in the UK actually.

And go figure, out of all my trips, it was literally the only time I did not bring the birth cert.

11:05

Of course, forgot it.

And, you know, we were lucky.

My kids were old enough at that point that they could really be engaged in the conversation.

And frankly, the immigration officer said, you know what, I I shouldn’t let you through, but I can tell they look like you and I’m going to.

And I was very lucky.

11:21

So wow, you know, you have to be really careful.

And I, I, you know, always been careful about doing that and I didn’t.

So you should always make sure you do that as well.

OK, SO documents.

People who want to hear about the actual trips, right?

You have this company you offer, you know, itineraries for parents to go away and meet other single parents so that you can have a vacation with your kids.

11:43

But like with other kids around kind of built in.

And then also the individuals that can you tell us a little bit about the trips themselves or people are wondering like are they camping trips?

Aren’t you mentioned five star hotels or are they five star luxury hotel trips?

They’re not necessarily on either of those extremes, but they’re, you know, they’re not camping, although, you know, someday if we grow I would love to work that in.

12:09

But the, you know, the initial trips are going to be typically, you know, usually 4 star hotels, although a couple of the trips we will probably have, you know, five star hotels or five star quality.

There’s a couple of places where we’re renting private villas that are on that level.

12:28

And so, you know, what we’re doing is trying to kind of take as many of the stressors away from planning and going on a trip like this to make it a lot more approachable for people.

Sharing villas with other families and or with other people.

12:50

So for so there’s two types of trips, there’s the ones that are going to be the adult only and then the ones with with kids.

So for the kids trips, you know a family would you would only share a room with your family, not with you know, anyone else.

On the adult trips you would have the option to have a roommate or pay more for a single room.

13:14

OK.

And so how would?

We.

Didn’t want to make people mix rooms obviously.

Yeah.

How many trips per year are are you currently running?

So we’re going to release our first trips in in the fall, which would be to take place in 2025.

13:32

And we’re going to release 4 trips in the initial release, 2 of each, you know, 2 for kids, 2 without kids.

But you know, hopefully if we get more interest and grow, our goal is to offer a lot more than that.

And then tell everybody about the single parents travel lounge.

13:52

So that is a membership community that we’re launching probably shortly after we launched the trips.

And that’s going to be a community where single parents, you know, can get on the one hand, individualized group coaching with sort of personal help to coach them through any obstacles they’re experiencing and getting out on the road, where to go, how to plan it.

14:21

How do I navigate this with my Co parent, you know, help travel planning any of those issues.

They’ll be office hours and coaching available for that, as well as a community to connect with other single parents who may want to either share tips or travel together.

14:40

You know and and form a real community.

I love, I love all of that.

I love it.

We’re going to take a quick break here because I know that you guys definitely want exclusive access to our insider tips for moving through divorce and discovering our best selves.

14:57

Just listen to what I have to tell you and you’ll find out how you can get this access.

It’s been 10 plus years since our divorces were final and Jessica’s been married and divorced again.

We’ve both had short term and long term additional relationships and now find ourselves navigating new careers, grown kids and the healthiest relationships we’ve ever been in.

15:19

First of all with ourselves and therefore with others.

We share our hits and misses, but only in our weekly newsletter.

You can sign up at X Experts EX experts.com/newsletter or just visit our website at X Experts and a fun little pop up will appear to make it super easy for you to get access to these tips.

15:43

You don’t know what you don’t know, but we do.

We’re The xx Experts and we’ve lived it, so we get it.

So, Nicole, how many people or how many families are you limiting these trips to so people will have an idea of like, you know, what the crowd is going to be like?

16:00

Yeah, for the family trips, it’ll depend a little bit on the trip, but in the range of six to ten families and then on the adult trips in the range of like 15 to 16 people.

OK, so talk about a.

16:16

Manageable group, but enough to have friends.

Do you have any idea of a price range?

Like are you working within a price range and then picking your place?

And are they going to be trips in the US or outside of the US?

So the initial trips are going to be outside the US, but I do plan to offer trips within the US, you know, at some point in the next release because there’s a lot of people that just realistically can’t travel outside.

16:47

And there’s a lot of experiences you can have here, you know, before you’re ready for that.

So, yeah.

And as far as the price range, it will vary, but you know, we’re kind of trying to keep it at, I guess, a trip price that would be in the moderate budget range for people.

17:09

And you’re giving them plenty of time to to plan for it anyway so you can budget it.

Exactly for it.

Can they, Do they book their own flights?

Yeah.

So or do you do that for them?

Like, are you like a travel agent or you’re whatever?

17:26

Explain a little more for everybody.

We’re more like a tour operator than a travel agent, but so we don’t include the flights in our trips.

If there’s any internal flights, you know, within the country we’re going to, we would include those, although there’s none of those on the 1st trips.

But the international flights we don’t include.

17:45

However, we will, you know, be of assistance with booking if people need that.

But the trip packages themselves will pretty much include everything else.

So they’ll include all the accommodations, local guides, activities, most, most, but not all meals because sometimes people want one or two nights to go off on their own and as well as airport, you know, pick up and drop off at the airport and, and really holding their hand every step of the way.

18:16

Do you think that there are people who are thinking like or or are you planning that these are going to be almost like singles trips, the adult trips where people are going to be going to kind of maybe meet a mate or not so much?

You know, we can’t control what people do.

18:33

And that’s a natural, you know, tenancy people may have.

That’s not the intent.

But certainly, you know, everyone on the trip is going to be an adult there.

You know, as long as it’s respectful of the group, you know, we think in connections are great.

18:49

I, you know, I think for me, the mindset would be this is a great way to get out in a very natural environment to meet and interact with other people in a way that, you know, at least for me, after divorce, there weren’t a lot of opportunities to do that.

19:08

So to me, that’s a lot more important.

And if something grows out of that, then that’s great, you know, but.

I feel like it.

Won’t be a free girl.

We as divorced women, like we love this kind of idea for sure.

I actually have never taken a trip.

19:24

The only travel I’ve ever done alone honestly is like business travel.

But I’m wondering because there I know there are companies out there that exist that are running trips for solo travelers.

Some of them may be like geared towards adventure travel and could be like camping or you know, mountain biking or white water rafting.

19:44

And then you know, others that are really more beach and that kind of thing.

I’m curious, like, is there something that like differentiates what you’re doing and your company so people will understand why this is something that they would want to do?

Sure.

20:00

A couple things.

First, we’re we’re completely focused on single parents, which you know, there’s a lot of companies that single parents could go on the trips, but they’re not necessarily focused on that.

And I think that’s important because there are some unique challenges that single parents deal with, you know, as an example for our adult trips.

20:25

We’re intentionally trying to plan them in ways that would be flexible enough to fit with common schedules where you’re not going to have to trade a bunch of days with your ex to be able to go, you know, and maybe the extra drama or, or guilt that goes along with that.

20:40

So, you know, issues like that that don’t necessarily fit into the itineraries of other travel companies.

Here’s one example and and just understanding the needs and you know, the single parents are gonna have just being able to get on the trip.

20:59

Are there age?

Ranges, yeah.

Sorry, I couldn’t hear you.

Can you say that again?

Are there age ranges for like the adults and or kids?

Not really.

Not for the adults.

21:15

For, for the kids, we’re gonna have a suggested minimum age just because when you have really, really young kids, it can be pretty stressful to travel and be able to do the activities.

It’s not going to be, you know, completely strict because I know there’s a lot of parents that may have, you know, an older sibling and a younger sibling and we don’t want them to feel left out.

21:41

So we’ll find ways to work with them on that.

But we’ll have a suggested minimum age just to really be able to enjoy the activities.

What will those suggest?

Be.

I’m thinking probably 5 or 6 is that in my experience, that’s the age when it really became, you know, a lot more enjoyable to be able to do, do some of the activities.

22:02

Yeah.

I mean I would say before they could walk is very enjoyable.

That that actually is true.

That is very true, yeah.

Are they sleeping?

That’s.

It OK, so and cry, but so do 5 year olds and 10 year olds and spoiled 14 year olds, you know?

22:26

OK, so I’m very excited about this.

I, I want you all to really like picture.

I don’t do vision boards, but I picture one in my head of what that would look like.

And I would encourage you guys to kind of put one together.

22:42

What does it feel like?

What does it look like this trip that you’re going to want to go on?

And it’s a great memory for you to have with your kids.

They can help plan and pack and, you know, look at the maps and learn about the places that you’re going to.

Are you going to give families all those kind of prep kits?

23:00

Forget about the singles, but like the families with the kids, so they can all be involved, involved and what’s to come and what’s to learn and like scavenger hunts.

And I don’t know if you haven’t done that.

I just gave you a freebie.

I don’t have a scavenger hunt, but I love the idea and I’m going to look into that.

23:19

But yeah, we’re, we’re absolutely going to do that.

We’re going to have, you know, every month leading up to the trip, you know, here’s what you need to know this month to be getting ready.

We’re going to have a community platform, which is housed on the same platform as our membership will be, where there’s a special space just for the people on each trip so they can connect with each other ahead of time.

23:44

We’ll have some virtual events to, you know, meet each other, ask any questions about the trip, and we’ll have those regularly leading up to it, as well as kind of an area where they can connect at any time.

So they really feel like they can get to know each other ahead of time and feel really prepared for the trip.

24:02

So are you going on all these?

Trips.

Yes, the first ones I am and my, you know, my vision and goal is that, you know, once, once we get the first ones out of the way, hopefully I can bring in some other folks as well too.

24:19

We, we will have someone from the company on each trip because I think it’s important to make sure it goes smoothly.

But you know, hopefully if we can expand it won’t, you know, they’ll be more, more folks than me.

So anyone that’s interested in that can definitely reach out as well.

24:37

I feel as someone who has never traveled solo, like I said, I think there are people out there who may be intrigued by the idea but still might be nervous because at the end of the day, even though you’re organizing it as a group, I mean, you’re still talking about people going away alone.

24:54

Like can you just explain to people why something like this is such like a memorable experience that is worth stretching outside your comfort zone to do?

Yeah, travel’s always going to be scary.

25:11

That’s not going to change.

I’ve been on a lot of trips.

I still get nervous before each one.

It’s just the way it is.

It’s still worth it every single time.

The growth that you get for travel, it sort of takes you out of the bubble that we all get stuck in and puts you somewhere else where you really can just be in the moment.

25:37

You can see yourself a different way.

And I, you know, I have not experienced anything other than travel that can really do that.

So I, you know, yes, it’s hard and there may be things sometimes that go wrong and sometimes, to be honest, those are some of my best memories in the end.

25:57

So it it’s always worth it.

And these trips, one last question, these trips are it’s mixed men and women.

It’s not like groups of women, groups of men.

Or is that something that you’ll ever end up having?

It’s mixed now if, you know, as we grow, if that’s something people are interested in, we can do that.

26:19

But to be honest, there’s a lot of, you know, female focused travel groups and I think that’s great.

It definitely has an important place, but I think there’s also actually a lot of value in interacting, you know, men and women in a way that’s healthier, you know, when on both sides, to be honest, a lot of us have not experienced that.

26:44

So I think it’s important.

I feel like if I were doing, if I were able to do this now, I mean, I’m in a relationship now and I it’s I’m in a different place in my life, but I would definitely do with the kids because one of my criteria that was never going to change in my dating apps was divorced with kids.

27:07

I mean, that was like a non negotiable for me.

You’re never going to understand.

And it’s the way it is.

Like I got kids and there’s a lot that goes with it.

So I would be, I bet you meet other people who become your friends, who you have these great memories with and these awesome places who are going to become friends or maybe even something more.

27:30

And then the kids become pen pals.

I don’t even know if that’s the thing anymore, but you know, like travel buddies.

Social media They follow each other on social media, right I.

Just think it’s.

I think it’s great to get people out of their their.

Exactly.

27:45

Home furred like you said, but they’re they’re regular predictable environment and put them in a new culture.

I’ve traveled around the world.

I have been on 1 1/2 solo trips.

One was easy.

It was a spa so most of the people were single, but I still was like F it, I’m out of here and I was dating somebody at the time.

28:08

And the other one I when I went to Kilimanjaro, even though I knew the two women, I slept in a tent by myself.

It was freaking hard.

So I think having kind of the crutch of other parents are also figuring it out and their kids are annoying and complaining or great or not or whatever.

28:28

You’re all going through this learning experience together in these awesome places.

So that’s why I got all lit up about Nicole’s program because it’s just such a cool thing for you to share with your kids and for yourself to benefit from.

28:45

And if you get all the legwork taken care of by somebody like Nicole, then you can just like be in the fun.

Just be in the fun of it all.

And, and like she said, be present and your travel has is it is a top priority for me.

29:01

I would spend more of my pennies on travel than purchasing anything else.

Honestly, the.

Experiences.

Thank you very.

Much for creating.

Yeah, so, well, listen for everybody listening, if you are as fascinated as TH and I are and you want to follow Nicole, find out more about the Single Parents Lounge, then go and see the show notes.

29:22

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29:39

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