Divorce Parties are Okay by Me!

It’s September and we are all “back to school” and “back to work” and “back to summer ending” and now let’s roll into Fall and Winter?
But what can I do about it? Nothing
What will I do about it?
Enjoy every minute, and miss the warm sun during my walks and my weekends at the lake.
September marks a lot of anniversaries for me, including my Bagatelle (a run NYC restaurant) “new beginning party” (or divorce party if you want to call it that).  September 16, 1995 was the day I got married.
September 20, 2008 was the day I got 11 of my girlfriends together and we danced, sang and partied all night in NYC and some of us stayed the weekend. I wanted to mark that day with another great memory. (The waiter even wanted to be in our celebration photo!)
People have opinions about divorce parties, but people have opinions about many things and guess what? I can’t do anything about that either but I can be true to myself and what is good for me.
Being with the friends who are like family was good for me and continues to be.
If i was having that party today, 80% wounldn’t be in cluded, but I can guarantee that 100% of them will never forget how fun that night was.
It helped me but I also think it helped them. Friends don’t know what to do when people they care about are in transition whether it’s from trauma or joy, what’s the right thing to say or do?
Nothing is not the right answer in this case.
You can never do wrong by being nice. People will receive it when they are ready, but it cannot hurt.
If you want to ask for help, or to help a friend these are my tips:
  1. Ask your friend how they are doing right now. Those last two words are key, as without them it’s hard to come up with an answer. I know how I am in this moment, but how am I in general? Well, how much time do you have?
  2. Just listen to your friends, don’t express an opinion unless your friend asks for one. Mostly we just want to be heard, not always understood.
  3. Don’t ever stop checking in. Even if it’s a 💕 emoji, it shows you are thinking of your friend. Each of us has a different way of handling change and trauma, so be a good communicator. It’s good to give space, but also great to check in.

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