Everyone is talking about mindset these days, and how important it is for everything you do. When it comes to those of us that are going through – or have been through – divorce, it’s very easy to fall into negative patterns and mindsets, as we try to pull ourselves out of the slump and get moving on our new, happier path. We know, easier said than done, but trust us, you CAN do it.
Mindsets are formed by your own personal experiences, education, and culture, and your mindset is a collection of your thoughts and beliefs which shape your own thought “habits”.
Changing your mindset takes work because formed habits aren’t easy to break. If they were, no one would ever need therapy, coaching, read self-help books or have any struggles with going from being pissed off to being happy – maybe we would never get pissed off in the first place!
Most people don’t wake up thinking, “I want my mind to be consumed with negative thoughts today.” But when life decides to throw you a curveball or two – it happens. To all of us.
So how do you do it? How do you shift your negative thoughts to become more positive?
One way to do that is through Neuro-Linguistic Programing.
NLP or Neuro-Linguistic Programming is a set of language and sensory-based interventions and behavior modification techniques intended to help improve someone’s self-awareness, communication, perception, and thought patterns.
NLP looks to change the underlying patterns or strategies on an unconscious level so that the concerns or problems you have, don’t reappear.
NLP techniques are action-oriented. So rather than focusing on the “why,” as you might do in therapy, NLP focuses on the “how.”
- How can you react differently to your thoughts and emotions?
- How can you adapt your communication style to the situation?
- How can you change your mindset so that life is happening for you, not to you?
If you really want to be able to shift your mindset, an important tool is journaling/writing things down. The idea is that you must first even recognize when you are having negative thoughts so that you can be aware of what needs to change. A simple first step is to take some time and think about the questions above and write down your thoughts about them. Being able to recognize a pattern within yourself can help you to understand what your struggles are, and what you need to work on.
Doing this kind of work takes time, and the truth is, having guidance from someone who is experienced in NLP and can gently show you how to make the shifts you need is a great tool. Obviously, no matter how much some of us want to make these types of changes, we aren’t always able to do it on our own. Seek out someone with this kind of experience to assist you in your process. It may be one of the best things you ever do for yourself.