“Grow the Fuck Up” – Author, Sarah Knight on How to Stop Giving a Fuck!
There are a lot of things we wonder if we should give a fuck about. If you’re thinking about divorce, there are bound to be many things that you’re trying to figure out whether you should give a fuck or not about. And if you’ve ever wondered what you should be giving a fuck about, then you’re in the right place.
Sarah Knight, the author of the books Grow the Fuck Up, Calm the Fuck Down, Get Your Shit Together, as well as many others, joined T.H. and Jessica on the Divorce Etc… podcast to talk about Sarah’s approach to life.
The Risk That Started It All
Sarah says it all started as a matter of desperation. “I was 35 years old, I had been working in my career in New York City for 15 years as a book editor, climbing my way up the ladder, publishing big, best-selling books,” she looks back. “Everything seemed like it was great on paper.” But what people didn’t see was that internally, she was struggling. Sarah loved her job working with writers and discovering new voices, but was having a really hard time with her mental health, to the point where she had to reevaluate her life and make a change. “It was not so much the job I had,” Sarah clarifies, “but being in a corporate environment and having to sublimate.” The inability to be as authentic as she wanted to be, being unable to say fuck in the office, and having to put on a facade for eight to ten hours a day was taking its toll.
So Sarah decided to quit her job. It was terrifying, and felt very risky, possibly very similar to how deciding to get a divorce may feel. But Sarah says quitting her job led to her creative brain switching on. “Suddenly, I had some time of my own to think.”
That’s when her first book, The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck, was born. It was meant to be a parody of Marie Kondo’s decluttering bible, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up – but while Kondo talked about holding onto joy, Sarah talked about getting rid of annoyances. And thus began her path of sweary self-help.
Not Giving a Fuck? Harder Than It Sounds
Not giving a fuck is really an inspiring message. “Everything you’re saying about being overwhelmed, not being heard, and subject to other people’s rules, I was trapped in a marriage like that,” T.H. tells Sarah. T.H. stayed in that marriage for years because of the guilt and fear for her three kids. “I think that I was waiting for someone to just push me out the door.”
But the turmoil and mental stress of making a leap like that is a common feeling for those trapped in bad marriages and bad relationships. Making that big leap can feel like a major risk and the thought of doing it can be paralyzing.
Sarah’s newest book, Grow the Fuck Up, has a whole chapter on this feeling and how to be resourceful, which is much needed when deciding to leave a career or a relationship. This book is all about how to be an adult and how to be treated like an adult. Sarah’s got an exercise in this chapter, called “make believe and make it happen,” where she makes adulting fun and has you go back to your childlike roots, where you can pretend you’re in the position you want, and put yourself in the mindset of what that person would do. “Instead of thinking that’s just poor me, and I can’t do this, just think about somebody that you admire,” Sarah suggests. “What would they do in this situation?” Another thing she often asks people is, if your best friend was going through this, what would you tell them to do? You’re probably giving great advice that you could be taking yourself.
These things may not necessarily be easy, but they’re simple. Big life decisions don’t need to seem so overcomplicated, and they’re all doable – it’s a matter of educating yourself.
Grow the Fuck Up
“Grow the Fuck Up might be my most universally applicable book yet,” says Sarah. With social media like TikTok, a lot of younger people began finding Sarah’s books and reaching out to her. With these younger generations reaching out to her, she decided to write a book about preparing yourself to adult wisely and well. But this book isn’t just for young people: it encompasses what Sarah refers to as the three pillars of adulting: being mature, being responsible, and being accountable. And don’t worry, it’s not as dry as it sounds; Sarah’s included some fun methods and flowcharts that really get to the bottom of what all of that means in terms of practicing self-awareness and self-control, in order to be more self-sufficient.
The tip that starts everything off in the book is called “remember your ABCs.” It’s another way Sarah reminds us that it’s really simple to act like an adult and therefore be treated like an adult, as long as you remember that your actions and behavior have consequences.
“This all ties back into one of my very favorite nuggets of info from my very first book about not giving a fuck, which is that you have to stop giving a fuck about what other people think,” Sarah explains. You can’t control what other people think, only your actions and behavior. If you know in your heart you’re doing the right thing– whether it’s in your career, your relationships, or your co-parenting tactics – then that’s what matters most.
Sarah’s work is all about simple lessons. But like she’s said, that doesn’t mean they’re easy to tackle. But with Sarah’s style, you can at least laugh a little and laugh at yourself throughout. It’s all about bringing a little light to situations that might otherwise be stressful and overwhelming.
What’s Next for Sarah?
“I want to make sure that whatever I put out in book form is worthy and worthwhile,” Sarah expresses. She took a little break from writing after her last book, Fuck No, and instead launched a podcast during that time. That gave her time to come up with a new idea for a new book. And she did also just renew the option for the movie rights on her first book, which is an exciting new project in the works. But whatever comes next, it’s sure to be full of advice and ideas we can all take to heart.
Be sure to check out the show notes for more information on Sarah Knight and all of her No Fucks Given books, calendars, and products. And definitely check out the release of her new book that came out April 4th, linked in our exRATED section.