If you haven’t listened to every episode of Divorce etc… since we started two years ago, here’s a little help. We went back to see what the top 5 highest-rated episodes were for Season 2, and we’re giving you the list so that you can easily find these and hear advice and information that will help you in every part of your own divorce process, as well as move on into your new life.
Season 2’s top episodes were all about dealing with difficulties, whether it be divorcing a narcissist, moving on from a difficult relationship, trauma recovery, and focusing back on yourself.
No. 1: Melissa Gragg, “How to Find Hidden Money in Divorce”
This episode of the Divorce etc… podcast is actually the highest-rated of all the podcasts we’ve done, and it’s no wonder. Who doesn’t want to find hidden money while going through a divorce? Plus, our guest, Melissa Gragg, is amazing.
Everyone needs to listen to this one, because why shouldn’t you know your own financial situation? She has a fantastic list of points that everyone should hear. If your spouse is more in the dark about their finances than you, they may be either hiding money or hiding the fact that they don’t have any. You might be living a lavish lifestyle that you actually can’t afford without being aware of, or have credit card debt you’re not told about. As a business valuation expert, Melissa’s role in any divorce is to help find out whether there’s hidden money while keeping expectations realistic. And she even lists some red flags to look for that she’ll find when uncovering a dirty financial situation.
“She’s not for one or the other side,” describes T.H. “She’s on an investigative mission to tell you the facts.”
No. 2 (and 2.5): Ina Hansen, “Narcissist v. Asshole –There is a Difference”
It may have been the title (which incidentally, is our favorite title of all the Divorce etc… podcast episodes) but this two-part interview went gangbusters with our listeners. And it’s also really applicable in both T.H. and Jessica’s cases, as T.H. divorced a narcissist, and Jessica just divorced an asshole (though truth be told, Jessica is really close with him and it was more that his cheating was an asshole thing to do, not that he’s an asshole in every way). In any case, in this episode Ina identifies the difference, getting into all the details of how it affects your health and even your brain function. These things are important to know because if you’re in a relationship with a true narcissist, you were the subject of a very traumatic relationship. Knowing these differences is key to the healing and recovery process.
Overall, these episodes are really informative, especially since a lot of people nowadays will throw around the term “narcissist” without truly understanding the weight of the term. Ina goes over a checklist of questions with her clients, giving them a tangible list of things to be asked and answering to identify what’s happening and how to move forward from them. Having actionable items is the first step in navigating how to handle this type of situation, especially in situations where you are contemplating divorce but feel like you’re holding back from taking that leap.
No. 3: Nawal Houghton, “How to Divorce a Difficult Person”
The third most listened-to episode with Nawal Houghton from the U.K. – a mediator, lawyer, and divorce coach all in one. When we say “difficult person,” that can also include someone who is a narcissist or has some type of behavioral issue that will make your divorce process different (and much more difficult) than most people.
On top of being super knowledgeable in seeing so many different divorce cases, Nawal’s had her own experience divorcing a difficult person, which gives her another level of support for all her clients. For T.H., talking to Nawal was extremely helpful in validating her own experiences and reinforcing that she wasn’t alone.
The biggest takeaway from this episode is the importance of boundaries. And this doesn’t just apply to divorce but to all relationships. Difficult people aren’t always people you’re married to; it could be a coworker, a friend, or a family member. Nawal reminds us all that it’s not your fault. And in setting up boundaries, you help yourself so much mentally, especially if it does apply to divorcing a difficult person.
You can’t change people, especially difficult people. But you can change how you react to these people, and figure out the best way to identify the red flags and communicate with these types of people in your life.
No. 4: Jennifer Lazor, “The One Thing You Can Control During Divorce”
The guest in this Divorce etc… episode is attorney Jennifer Lazor, who was actually the second in command on T.H.’s legal team during her divorce. “She was strong and effective without being a bulldog and literally fighting every single thing,” T.H. recalls.
There are a lot of things you can’t control during your divorce process, but one thing you can control is yourself. You can control the information you know, the information you have, your tone, your emotions, and your decisions. What Jennifer talks about in this episode is that even though you’re never going to know for sure what your lawyers are saying when you’re not in the room, you have the right to decide if you’re comfortable with the message and tone your lawyer is sending.
Her main point was that this is a conversation you have to have with your lawyer at the beginning of the process. A lot of us just let the lawyer take the lead and get pushed in certain directions by them (and by our ex), but if you feel like you’re in a partnership rather than being directed by your lawyer, that’s going to have a major impact in how you feel during the process.
No. 5: John Nachlinger and Christina Previte, “The Most Common Mistakes of Men and Women in Divorce”
John Nachlinger and Christina Previte, who are law partners in New Jersey, joined the Divorce etc… podcast to discuss the most common mistakes men and women make during divorce, which quickly became one of our highest-rated episodes. This was a pretty eye-opening discussion, as certain mistakes you may attribute more to women are actually often made by more men, and vice versa.
One thing we learned from John was that this all comes down to cultural training. The societal norms that we grow up with, like women being more open and men being more uncomfortable with their feelings, and women having more support systems than men, give us some background on why things are the way they are and why we all need to cut ourselves a little slack. It also highlights the importance of having a great therapist and making sure you aren’t just using your lawyer as a stand-in therapist.
In fact, therapy and having that support system are two things that were discussed heavily in this podcast. The idea of emotional thinking versus rational thinking comes into play here, especially in terms of negotiations surrounding alimony and co-parenting, which was touched on in terms of some of the biggest mistakes being made. Christina says that one of the biggest mistakes she sees primarily from women is them saying they won’t get a job so that they can maximize the alimony they’re going to get, which is a risky strategy that often leads to self-sabotage.
Overall, John and Christina give a lot of fantastic insight into identifying some of the biggest mistakes so that you are aware and can make sure you aren’t making them yourself.
Season 3 of the Divorce etc… podcast launches in January 2023 and is filled with even more new experts with tons of new information, advice, and resources. On top of that, we’ve also got awesome events, Instagram lives, and tips on Tik Tok – we have so much information coming your way next year so stay tuned for some exciting content!
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